Couples Therapy for Managing Differences


Couples Therapy

Are you at risk of losing your relationship, or wondering if there’s hope? Or are you wanting to work through challenges as you explore deepening intimacy, and explore new levels of commitment?

When there’s love, conflict can lead to deep pain. Bonding, touch, and sexual intimacy trigger not only evoke deep pleasure, and hormones including oxytoxin, but also the potential for trauma based fight/flight reaction. When differences arise, it can bring up your emotional wounds from past relationships or family-of-origin patterns, leading to repetitive “stuck” conflicts or patterns of disconnection.


As your couples therapist, I support you to shift painful arguments, or experiences of disconnection, back to flow, intimacy, connection, and improved communication, so you can see how you want to grow together. I help you get out of the cycles of reaction into greater safety in your being, honoring your feelings and your connection.


Here are some issues in which I support you


Improving Communication

* Support in having difficult conversations

* Learning skills to navigate difficult conversations on your own.

* Making communication easier

* Staying True to Your Own Needs, While Staying Connected


Navigating differences and conflict

Even when you have many similarities -- cultural or racial differences, regional differences, personality differences, gender socialization differences, differences in how you were raised, or opinion --  can lead to conflict. These underlying (sometimes obvious, sometimes not in your awareness) patterns from the past, ingrained values, or even stuff you thought you had worked through, can show up as get closer and deepen commitments.


I particularly work with couples where one or both members are immigrants or children of immigrants, Asian American, or also navigating cultural differences intergenerationally from their parents.


Healing Through Relationship

Relationships can be a source of healing with support.

* Building Conscious Relationship

* Healing Interenerational Trauma

* Early Childhood Trauma and Mental Health Challenges in Relationship


My Approach


I support you in having insight and skills so that you can become a more “intelligent” couple.

I listen carefully to both your needs, and also the dynamic between you, providing holding for that which is hard to hold by yourselves. I have been told I can be both sensitive and strong, and hold complexity.

As a somatic psychotherapist, with training in somatic and relational therapy approaches focused on emotion, attachment and communication in couples. I tune into both verbal and nonverbal cues. I may support you both in using touch, movement, and ways of working with neurobiology of trauma healing, to establish greater safety. My work is also informed by relational psychoanalysis, which means seeing relationship as a source of healing and information, and a non-authoritarian approach that deeply honors your meanings, values, and history that contributed to who you are.

I am also systems centered. As a couple you are creating a relationship that is more than just two people. A systems perspective is a theory of how systems work well and evolve.

If you or your partner are in individual therapy, I may suggest I be in communication with your therapist to better support each of you in relationship, though this is not required.